We shouldn’t be teaching our children HOW to feel in some situations. (Facebook/Inside Oui)

“My son, give me your heart … ” (Prov. 23:26).

Disney Pixar’s latest blockbuster film has a secret turning point that should serve as a warning sign to every parent. Take the wrong path at this sign, and you can inadvertently cause great pain in your child’s heart; take the right path, and you can help your child grow closer to the heart of God.

In Inside Out, the emotions of Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust are personified as animated characters operating the “control center” of 11-year-old Riley’s brain. Riley is a happy, well-adjusted girl with loving parents, but her world has been uprooted when the family moves from Minnesota to San Francisco. (As a dad, I perked up at this point, since I happened to be watching the movie with my soon-to-be-eleven-year-old daughter whom I have just moved to a new home in a new city.)

Inside Riley’s head, dominant emotion Joy finds herself challenged by increasing interference from Sadness after the move. The two embark on an odyssey through Riley’s memory, only able to find their way back once Joy learns the value of Sadness. There’s much to be learned from this “inside” story about how God uses even sadness to accomplish his purpose in our lives, but I want to turn our attention to a specific aspect of the “outside” storyline.

Riley isn’t the only one affected by the move: her father’s new venture is threatened by unpredictable investors; and her mother has to deal with a moving truck that is lost somewhere in Texas. After a stressful day, Riley’s mother tells her that they need for her to be happy—that she should try not be sad for the sake of the family. It’s a well-meaning gesture, spoken without malice and intended to help Riley be strong. Yet it is this conversation that sets off the trouble inside Riley’s head.

The way writer/director Pete Doctor and company tell the story, Riley’s problem is not that she is experiencing sadness as a result of the move; her real problem is that she is trying so hard not to experience sadness. Inside her head, Joy literally draws a circle around Sadness and tells her not to come out of it.

That fateful decision cuts Riley off from the help that she needs, driving her into depression and isolation. In one of Pixar’s most poignant scenes, Joy ultimately lets Sadness have control, Riley’s tears finally flow, and she is able to find the emotional support that she needs. I have to admit, not a few of my own tears were flowing by that point, too.

So what can Christian parents learn from Riley’s inside out adventure? I think the crucial lesson is this: kids need us to set boundaries on behaviors, but we should beware of setting boundaries on emotions. Telling your child how to act is necessary; telling your child how to feel is a disaster waiting to happen.

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SOURCE: Charisma News
Ken Roach