Success Motivated Mindset: Part Four - Gaining Power Over Your Moods

Something a great deal of people don’t take enough responsibility for is their moods. We often assume that when we are feeling negatively or unpleasant, the reason for that is irreversible. We become a slave to the ups and downs of everyday life, and only feel good when events beyond our control come to lift us out of the negative funks that we all too often might find ourselves in. 

But living that way is not going to help you to stay motivated and meet your needs, especially if you have a specific goal in mind. In fact, being a slave to your moods means you are that much more likely to give up in the face of adversity rather than sticking it through to the end, when you finally get to see the fruits of your labor. Unfortunately, this is a difficult roller coaster ride for most of us to get off of. Don’t worry though, there is hope yet.  

All of us have stimuli that drives us up the wall or can cause us to delve deep into a well of negativity. There are a lot of things that can happen to a person over the course of a lifetime that can lead to difficulties in controlling negative emotions. However, all of us have the power to find balance in our lives. Some people, however, are chemically predisposed to emotional mood disruptions, and if you feel like your moods are far beyond your control, it may help you to seek the aid of a qualified mental health professional who can help you to navigate the difficult terrain of your emotional and chemical life. 


Even people with mood disorders are usually able to find balance and healing with time and patience, and sometimes therapy is just what the doctor ordered to provide the tools necessary in acquiring solid footing in our emotional lives. Therapists can delve into personal issues that can affect our ability to move forward in a healthy way by dealing with our own individual situations, both emotional and biological.  

Depression and other ailments affect our moods and make it more difficult than usual to escape negative thought patterns. If you suspect you may be suffering from depression, although this section may offer some useful tips, but they may not be sufficient in treating your emotional unpredictability. It is best to speak with someone who can understand you as an individual who can offer advice that pertains to your unique situation. 

That being said, even if you don’t require the aid of someone to go into your emotional life with you, there can be a lot of challenges that we face when we are attempting to gain mastery over our moods so that we can function productively in our lives and maintain the motivation that we need to achieve our goals. Some people, for example, may not even realize that they have any power over their moods at all and might lash out at others for affecting them negatively.  

If you fear you are a person who blames circumstances and other people more often than you shoulder responsibility in your own life, then it could do you some good to remember that you are the only person who can change the way you perceive the world around you. By changing the way you perceive the world around you, you are empowering yourself to single-handedly change your mood, no matter how awful it might be and how difficult it might seem. 

Sure, there are situations that can be difficult for us to cope with emotionally, and we have to go through the negative emotions so that we can overcome them. These situations are sometimes capable of inhibiting us in various ways if we don’t allow ourselves to cope naturally with them. We can’t always turn our frowns upside-down, at the risk of causing other emotional problems further down the line that can impede our progress. 

However, we can gain mastery over the types of stimuli that get under our skin. We can gain perspective and allow ourselves to choose our battles wisely so that we aren’t wasting needless 


energy on negativity that doesn’t need to exist in our lives. All this takes is time and dedication to the task, and an acute self-awareness of the things that upset us and how we can cope with them. 

The first step to understanding how to master our moods is to recognize them. We have to know what we are dealing with before we begin to change anything. A good way to figure this out is to sit down with paper and pencil in hand and think long and hard about the different moods that you experience on a regular basis. These moods we can refer to as our core moods for the sake of this section.  

Once you have identified your core moods, think about the daily events that may spark you into falling into these core moods. Core moods are likely to border on extreme and vary to very neutral feelings. Perhaps we feel neutral a majority of the time because we have jaded ourselves to the pleasures and pitfalls of living. Or maybe we feel negatively, angry or sad, a majority of the time because we live constantly with the negativity bias hanging over our heads that causes us to only process and prioritize negative events in our memories.  

If we are feeling positive all the time, that is probably the most rare of all. If you feel constantly positive but still have a hard time staying motivated to meet your goals, perhaps there are ways you are avoiding dealing with negative emotions that could be causing you to be inhibited in other aspects of your life. If you are sincerely an optimistic person with a healthy relationship with the negative events in your life, then perhaps your issue with motivation lies outside your ability to master your moods, and another section will serve you better. 

The greatest asset to mood maintenance is self-discipline. Discipline is probably one of the biggest challenges for many of us. Without it, we are often slaves to our bad habits and lack of motivation. If we aren’t able to master self-discipline, achieving goals of any significant weight might become impossible. A great act of self-discipline that can drive you forward so that you are able to exercise discipline in other aspects of your life is to master your moods. 

Your mind is your greatest asset. The things you are capable of achieving are virtually limitless when you have the proper control over the way you think and behave. Being able to master 


your body and emotions is exceptionally challenging, especially for people with troubled pasts who may be hiding from their problems through bad habits and evasive ways of coping. However, no matter who you are, you have the power within you to move forward and motivate yourself to succeed. 

But if you are always letting the world around you control how you feel, you are going to have a really hard time. Let’s say you come home from work, and during your commute, somebody insults you. It’s a mentally ill stranger on the subway, and they don’t want to let up. They get off at the next stop, but you carry the anger and feeling of sadness and defeat with you for the rest of the day. 

Why is that? That person is a stranger who knows nothing about you. They are mentally ill to boot, so half of what they are saying is probably a projected image they have of themselves. Not only that, but the event is long over with, and they said absolutely nothing that actually applies to you or reflects your worth. Why are you letting it bog your mood down so badly? 

Chances are high that it affects you because you don’t have very high self-esteem. If you feel insecure, then you are somehow allowing someone who doesn’t even know a thing about you define you through their ignorance. You are acting as if what they say holds water and is true. Why might we do that? Probably because they are saying things and reflecting anger that we feel toward ourselves, whether or not anybody else can honestly represent us or not. 

So why is it that you feel insecure or angry with yourself? There’s nothing so bad about you. If you are willing to learn from your mistakes and move on, then you are as good a person as anybody else on this planet is. Better, in fact, because you are working hard to achieve something and improve yourself. You don’t have to let anything a stranger, or even a loved one, says about you resonate to such an extent that you feel upset about it. 

If they are offering you constructive feedback, don’t be angry or sad about it. Don’t let your ego’s frailty vault you into a bad mood you don’t know how to get out of. Instead, view it as a learning experience and weigh the person’s feedback against your habits and self-image. If you see room for improvement, don’t despair because you’re not perfect. Figure out the steps you 


can take to improve yourself so that you measure up to your standards. But don’t go out of your way to measure up to anybody’s standards but your own, because that behavior is insecure and it can ultimately turn out to be unhealthy. 

We can gain full control over our moods by interrupting negative thought patterns as soon as we recognize them. Chances are high that the situations we let bog us down are simply not worth our time. We should only prioritize things that truly matter to us, and if we aren’t dealing with something that is absolutely essential to our happiness and well-being, we should be able to shrug it off and use it as a way of learning more about the person or situation that is trying to bring us down than anything. 

Some tips and tricks you can use to help you to avoid falling into the trap of these moods include positive self-talk and learning about loving kindness. Loving kindness is a way of learning to love and accept yourself, flaws and all, by providing yourself with the forgiveness you need to move forward from mistakes without dwelling in the past. If we are always stuck in what was or what could have been, we will never truly learn and will always get stuck in a well of regrets that doesn’t need to exist.  

Speaking positively to yourself and interrupting bad thought patterns is also helpful because it helps us to stay validated and feel confident. When we don’t feel confident, it’s easy for us to feel moody about the things that happen to us and the way other people perceive us, even strangers. Using confidence building exercises is a great way for you to feel empowered without needing the validation of other people to buoy your mood so that you don’t stay stuck feeling sad or angry.  

For example, you should give mindfulness and breathing exercises such as techniques that slow your breathing. Close your eyes if you are feeling nervous or insecure and breathe slowly until you start to feel better. This will help you to regain your confidence and get control over the situation, ultimately boosting your sense of self-worth. Instead of babbling when you are feeling nervous, simply breathe. 


Again, the power of positive affirmations can’t be ignored. In fact, they’re so helpful that they have their very own section. Instead of speaking negatively to yourself and claiming you can’t do something or you have to do something, phrases that make us all recoil internally, use motivational phrases such as “I can do this.” That will help you to get a boost of self-confidence and stay motivated to try. 

We have to be aware of our own strengths and potential if we are going to have the confidence we need to succeed. It doesn’t pay to be modest in our own inner world. 

We need to know what we are good at and be willing to accept that these strengths are a part of ourselves and have more meaning than our weaknesses. Our weaknesses can always be improved upon with work and dedication, but our strengths often exist as a part of who we are inherently and offer us insight into the ways we can excel.  







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Prince Malachi is the founder of The Oracle Network and the Streetwear brand Y.A.H. Apparel

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