Today's topic is relatable and applies to so many youths at this age. Let me share the story of one of my closest female friends. For this illustration, I'll call her CL. So CL is a vibrant young lady who passionately loves God. She sought to please him and live in his love for her. She had a male best friend, who also loved God extremely. CL, and her best friend would challenge themselves, go on evangelism, win souls and get them saved and disciplined. They did so many great things together and they were inseparable. They didn't just do spiritual things together. They pushed one another to be excellent in every aspect of their lives. After a while CL realized that she began to develop an emotional attachment to her best friend. When she did, she began to reduce contact with him to protect their beautiful friendship. Then her best friend, whom I would call FY for easy identification, also realized the same.
He approached her and told her how he felt about her. It made sense CL took time to pray about it and she got approval from God. However, During the period of her praying, she noticed NY began to act. Strangely, he suddenly began to detach from her. She noticed this and approached him to inquire about the reason for his sudden Behavior. Then he told her - God had not told him that they were anything more than friends. This would mean that they could not go beyond being friends, and that was all they could be. CL was heartbroken. I remember her crying out so badly about why, just when she began to accept things, he suddenly changed things. After approaching her to cut a long story short, they got over it and continued his friends, not so long after NY returned and told CL that he was sorry and wanted her in his life and God never said anything about them being just friends. It took time for CL to accept things.
It took the intervention of a friend and all was settled. She was excited less than three weeks later. She noticed he began to act strangely again and they always quarreled. She asked him why and he told her to give him space for a while she did and at the end of the day he returned and told her that God told him to let go of her wow throughout the days of Separation. CL took time to pray about them, and God did not tell her anything about that.
God knew how to speak to her very well, and she knew very well that she could hear God to cut a long story. Short CL went through another round of pain and near depression. She lost the person, she had genuinely thought she would spend the rest of her life with and her best friend as though two rounds of heartbreak from one person was not enough. CL and NY found themselves entangled again with love and the same thing happened, they got separated CL thought she wasn't going to survive it. She was badly hurt, thank God for the Holy Spirit and the strong relationship she had built with him, eventually CL recovered from the whole process or she's recovering.
However, the hurt from this past issue gave her a scar. She had a hard time accepting love from any spiritual brother. She somehow couldn't reconcile how her best friend, who loved God, heard God and loved her - would have done that to her. It was unconscious, but she seemed to believe that every spiritual brother had the issue of immaturity and they would clothe their immaturity with spirituality. Now, why did I take the time to go through the story? I did because many youths are going through the same. You cannot see the gifts God has prepared for you, because you cannot let go of your past. The sad truth is, you cannot get new if you refuse to let go of the old. Letting go of the old doesn't only mean letting go of the person, but the stereotypes you have built because of the hurt of the past. Your past is not the reality. God's word is so any experience that does not align with the truth of God's word is a lie that the devil is beautifully painting as true.
So once you start thinking of the past mentalities from the past hurt into your present. That's a big sign that you are allowing your dark past to stop you from finding the right person. Another important sign that shows you are allowing your past to stop you from finding the right person is not forgiving yourself for your past mistakes. Look your past is what it is past and nothing more. However, you cannot give it the power of more when you choose to dwell in it and refuse to forgive yourself.
I know you probably thought you were a fool or saw the signs, but willingly chose to ignore them. Whatever your mistakes might have been, forgive yourself and let them go. You made mistakes, you're human learn from it and never let it happen again. Unfortunately, you give your mistake: the opportunity for more mistakes. When you dwell in the past until you learn to forgive yourself, you cannot forgive anyone else and you cannot accept any other person else.You would carry the baggage hurt into your present relationship, so examine yourself. Truthfully have you forgiven yourself when you think about the incident of the past? Do you blame yourself use mean words on yourself or crucify yourself with words all over again. If you do any of this, you may not have forgiven yourself. Another important sign is that you have not forgiven the person you see.
Forgiveness is not an easy feat at all. I know because I've been there, I've seen my friend deal with genuinely forgiving her best friend. Despite how hurt she was unforgiveness prevents and hinders you from getting the benefits or rewards of forgiveness. The truth is, there are certain things you might never receive from God. As long as you hold unforgiveness in your heart, unforgiveness deters you from seeing the open doors. God has opened to you because you only keep looking and thinking about the past. Imagine a runner who, while running, keeps looking back, he would either eventually get distracted and fall or would never win the competition. It is a lot of work in your heart when you choose not to forgive a person you're keeping your heart constantly focused on the past, the hurt, the pain, the anger and preventing yourself from seeing God's goodness that he so richly blessed you with you cannot find Or accept the right person, God has planned for you when you choose to retain unforgiveness in you. Maybe you are even praying. You've been praying to locate or know the right person.
It would be hard to find people often lose sight of one important thing: unforgiveness prevents your prayers from being answered once you Harbor anger, hatred, resentment and Malice against a person. You are blocking your prayers from being answered. Jesus says something really important in Mark chapter 11, verse 25 And whenever you stand, praying forgive if you have anything against anyone, so that your father also who was in heaven, May forgive you your trespasses.
These signs show that your dark past might hinder you from finding the right person. The way to deal with it is simply by intentionally doing the above mentioned things you're strengthened to let go of your past in Jesus name, foreign
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