Have you ever felt like you're not enough? I'm sure you have. You know, that feeling that you can't give enough or "be" enough for everyone else. If you get everything done - then you get the impression that others feel you are an overachiever and too busy in life; they feel you need to relax and slow down. If you let things go and simply enjoy the fun things for awhile, you are a slacker. If you feel you are being humble, others act as if you are weak and need to learn how to be independent and strong. If you engage in your strong side and try to be a warrior for God - then you are made to feel as if you should have more compassion in your heart instead.
I don't know why life seems to be like this sometimes. But it does. I know that I, on many occasions, have felt like I could never be enough for someone else - that I would never quite say the right thing unless I conformed to what their image of me was to be. That I wouldn't be able to do enough, say enough, or show enough to appease their standards of me - unless I actually DID meet their standards of me! That's a hard row to hoe.
It's hard because we can easily feel like giving up and not bothering at all. Which is exactly what Satan wants us to do.
As I am contemplating all of this, it occurs to me how prideful we can all be trying to "be enough." Because when we try to be enough - it is really for ourselves and not for someone else. We seem to get it in our heads that we need to achieve some level of "success" in our own hearts and minds to consider ourselves worthy to be loved or to have an attitude of self-importance. But if I look at it in a different light, instead of from a prideful heart that needs to feel validated - I see that God can work more in my life when I'm not enough. That is when I seek Him and reach out to Him and grow as a believer. I will never be enough - because only my God is enough. I try to be enough for me. To live up to an image I have projected for myself.
When others make us feel like we aren't enough for them - that we aren't being or acting the way they want us to at the moment.... we shouldn't just disregard it, yet at the same time we need to really take a look at our feelings and evaluate if it is them that is really projecting a feeling onto us - or us projecting feelings onto ourselves because of guilt, ambition, feelings of inadequacy, or more. And realize that Satan loves it when we feel inadequate and defeated.
I would feel far freer and more whole, if I stopped trying to be enough for everyone else and started KNOWING that I am enough for God. We are enough for God even though we can never measure up TO God.
Sometimes being enough is realizing that we will never be as much of something or someone as we'd prefer. We will always fall short. We will always stumble. We will always struggle with our pride and our selfishness. We will always be inadequate compared to the glory of the Lord. And yet God expects no more of us than to simply come to Him as we are.
How humbling and truly liberating to realize that a perfect God accepts and loves me - flaws, mistakes, and all. And all I need to be is who He created me to be. It may not be good enough for someone else....but it's all He wants from me. And it should be all I want... and expect.. from myself.