by  Karla Downing

Do you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by helping you to know your truth first. Is it possible to speak too soon? Yes. If you aren't fully convinced of your stance, beliefs, and perceptions, then you will be speaking too soon. Before you speak, you need to know what your truth is so you can stand firm in it and not be swayed by the reaction of the listener.


Speaking truth can be costly. Once you speak the truth, you have to be willing to deal with the ramifications. If you aren't sure what you believe, you will stir up dissension and not gain any benefit. Why would you speak before knowing your truth? Reactivity, impulsivity, anxiety, and defensiveness all contribute to speaking before you are ready. These things all have to do with emotional intensity which drives people to do something to get rid of the physical energy and discomfort they are feeling.

"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14, NIV). Or better yet, don't even bring it up if you can't follow through with it or if you aren't clear in your convictions. At least silence comes with a guaranteed benefit: "Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue"(Proverbs 17:28, NIV). You can't lose not speaking up if you aren't really ready.

Feelings and thoughts are discounted and denied rather than validated and encouraged in dysfunctional relationships. When this happens over and over again, a person begins to doubt one's own perceptions and emotions. If you aren't sure about your truth, spend time figuring it out and get validation from other people who will affirm you. This will help you figure out what your truth is before you speak.

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Prince Malachi is the founder of The Oracle Network and the Streetwear brand Y.A.H. Apparel

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