We have spending time with Andre Woods AKA B-Fade. He is an extraodinary person as well as a minister of the Gospel. He has been sharing with us how his life was before Christ and even of the very personal struggles he faced after he accepted Christ as his Lord. When we left off he was sharing his feelings with us about times of lonliness and the struggle to abstain from sexual immorality. B-Fade was honest to expose his life as a new convert with all of the challenges he faced with money, shelter and also in relationships.
A Man in the Mirror-The B-Fade Story-Part 2
Let's pick up where we left off with B-Fade telling us about how his first marriage began.
ConversationswitCoyfee: So B, I know you eventually got married. Tell us about how that all came about?
B-fade: The saint, who had rented me the studio, had two daughters. One of the young ladies, would bring me food. She knew I didn’t have a stove and I was impressed with her kindness. At this time, I was still searching for the woman who had my rib. Well, she was extremely kind and I again was lonely. I longed for a women to minister to me, in and out of bed. The thoughts would open the door to a relationship of fornication.
Late one night she came over and the events of that evening changed the nature of our relationship. Now in the meantime, I was still attending services, still seeking God for direction, but sneaking around with her. We had become comfortable with our relationship and would be out in the public often. So we would come up with these elaborate tales to cover the tracks which would often lead to spouts of fornication. However, after the dust would settle she would rush to tell the Elder what we had done. I however, was still sticking to tale we created. If she wasn't in place they would assume she was with me. She seemed to want to get closer to God but after a few of her confessions, the Elder thought that I was the deterent. That I just didn't care about the right way to do things. I really didn't want to disobey them or the Bible but it was so hard not do it. Almost impossible to just abstain. I mean I got most of the blame but even when I would try not to be with her; she would want to. Then afterward she would go back to the Elder and confess for both of us. Then the Elder would come straight to me, telling me to leave her alone. He thought the counsel was working but it would happen again. There would be more than a few occurrences.
The minister would come back and each time the counsel would be more stern. The ministerial staff advise that her and I should stop seeing each other. They said that we both need to get closer to God so that we could build a foundation. We couldn’t seem to stop sinning long enough to hear what they were saying. We decided to refused the church’s counsel and continue to fornicate. As time passed the sermons from the pulpit would address the issues of sex outside of marriage. This became so intense that we both decided to get married and just be done with it. My pastor refused to marry us and so we were married by my aunt behind the church’s back. We decided to just get married so people would leave us alone. I clearly knew that I didn't love her and I believe she wasn't in love with me either. There were problems in our marriage almost immediately. She and I both were being attacked by a spirit of lust which would open the door for adulterous activities later in the marriage. These activities created a violate home environment which eventually pushed me back to alcohol usage. We would struggle to stay together for about two years and the marriage would finally end in divorce.
ConversationswithCoyfee: After you two finally got married, how did adultery come in?
B-fade: There was a tragedy in her family and she was away helping make arraingements. During the time she was away she was spending time with another man. She later confessed that they had kissed and told me that her and him were over. However, she continued to see him for sometime. One of the youth from our church saw her with the young man and that's how I knew that she was still seeing him. When I would come home, things had changed; she seemed depressed. She would say things like: she didn't want to be with me anymore and just be out right mean. She would say stuff like that I was ugly and unattractive. Her rejection wounded me and made me more susceptible to the direction that enemy was pushing me towards (adultry).
I was in a group called Christian Brothas and we were invited to do a gospel play. While rehearsing for gospel play, I had met a really pretty lady. She was just being really nice to me and my wife was the absolute opposite. This girl and I were just friends but people were accusing us of sexual immorality. Which opened a dialogue concerning the gossip. We would meet up just to talk about the gossip and what people were saying about us. The next thing we knew we doing exactly what we had been accused of. I didn't know it then but she lived right up the street from us(my wife and I). By now my wife had stop coming home and if she came it was clear she that she didn't want to be there.
With the stress of all of this, I was really having a difficult time with the alcohol usage. My wife and I had been arguing when the police saw us. She was talking me back to the place that my car was left at. See a guy was killed directly in front of my car and so my car was a part of the crime scene. The cops arrested me because we were fighting in the car. Plus I was drinking ..so people thought I was responsible for the guy's murder.
ConversationswitCoyfee: Wow, a lot happened during that time. What do you believe caused you to loose focus?
B-fade: Me. My focus was on me and what I wanted. Not that what I wanted was all wrong but the manner in which I was getting it was. The relationships were not in accordance with the word. When the fire was turned up all sorts of things begin to rise up such as the continual battle with a disease called Alcoholism.
Tune in next time for the continuation of 'A Man In The Mirror', The B-Fade Story.
Do you battle with Alcoholism or maybe another drug addiction? Woud you like prayer? Email me and leave your contact information. We will contact you for prayer.