There is not a marriage counselor, self-help book, or marriage retreat that can save a marriage as much as the Bible. God’s Word is equipped to provide help for whatever circumstances we face while married.
Here are ten verses that can help to save and heal your struggling marriage. They are verses to remind us what love is and what God has created in your union with your spouse.
“Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up…Love never fails.”
This is a condensed version of one of the most popular verses used in wedding ceremonies, as it states what love is through the eyes of God. The love described here is one that is not out for itself, but is considerate of others and remains through the good times and bad.
It lists several attributes we should understand that would help a marriage thrive, as well as reminders of what love is about when the issues of marriage have distracted us from its true meaning from God.
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Before anyone scoffs at the referencing of the wife as the “weaker vessel,” the essence of the verse is to say that it is the husband’s duty to honor, love, and protect his wife with all they face. The second half of the verse says “heirs,” which means that God sees men and women as equals together for the grace of life.
So what the verse is really about is advising husbands to understand and honor your wife, as she looks to you for protection, love, and care. The same also applies to women in view of their husbands.
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“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
Probably one of the most admirable verses in the Bible in relation to marriage, this verse really drives home the point of how husbands should love their wives. There is no greater example of love than our Savior, Jesus Christ, who loved us, the church, so much that He went to the cross to die for our sins when He was sinless.
When husbands love their wives like Christ loved the church, sacrificing and loving them despite flaws and struggles exemplifies what it means to love unconditionally.
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Husbands, though this verse starts off advising you how to love your wife, it concludes with advising wives what to do for husbands. If you have read any research on what women and men want in marriage, you will see that women want to feel loved while men want to be respected in a marriage.
This verse embodies this research (learned well after the Bible) in that men and women should understand what their spouse needs most in their marriage.
“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”
Some may see this verse and reject it right away, because it doesn’t consider those that truly love being single or who have found pursuing love not worth the effort. However, this verse focuses instead on showing what God knows of us, His children, and how He saw that Adam was alone but shouldn’t be.
If God wants you to have a spouse, He will go to great lengths for this union to happen, knowing you both will become better versions of yourselves because of it.
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“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”
These are classic verses of the Bible that modern times could view as ancient and almost “sexist” now. But with closer examination, God states that this treatment of one another is not at the expense of the other person. Wives are to submit to their husband’s authority, but God determines how much of that is appropriate, not the husband. Husbands are to love their wives and not act rude or bitter to them.
When husbands and wives look at these verses, this is marriage advice at its finest. It is about loving the other person more than the other person loving you.
“‘And the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
These two verses are like 1 Corinthians 13, as they are typically heard most during someone’s wedding (such as my wedding). Just as stated in Genesis 2:18, God knows what He is doing when He brings two people together and in these two verses, it is a blending of souls, bodies, and personalities to where one is not without the other.
Now, Jesus (who stated these verses) didn’t say that a couple is basically to become a carbon copy of each other, but more to say that once God has united a couple, it is a uniting of spirit that no one should separate, including man. Their union furthers His kingdom, as well as builds up their potential for growth and love.
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"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
In no way is God saying here that wives are only to make their husbands look good; it is more to say that when a wife is the best version of herself, she not only shines, but so does her husband. If you are one who always has to get your way, never considers the needs of others, and will fight your husband at every turn on anything, you bring shame not only on yourself, but also on your husband, with whom you are united in spirit and flesh.
It is not saying you can’t be yourself while in the marriage, but God is saying that if you just want to cause unnecessary drama, you are destroying your marriage’s very foundation.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.”
Nothing clearer could be stated about the love of God as in this verse, conveying that if we love one another, including our spouses, we are loving God in the process and knowing Him more intimately like our spouses.
Love can be challenging to give when you are in a struggling marriage, but it is what can start building your marriage back up again, if you make the effort to show love through forgiveness, patience, comfort, and being peaceful.
“For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”
These last two verses resonate the most in how best to help a struggling marriage heal and bloom again. If your spouse falls down (both literally and physically), you want to be the one to help encourage them back up again. Whether they have suffered a failure, an indiscretion, or are struggling to stay faithful to God, you as their spouse want to be the one there to love, support, and guide them back to solid grounds of faith.
Those who don’t have someone, or are married but the couple isn’t there for each other, means it will be even harder to return back to God without that strong pillar of hope found in a spouse.
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These verses are to show you that no matter what issues you are having in your marriage, or if you are at the point of giving up and moving on, God believes in the two of you to dig deep and weather the storm. He saw something special in each of you that He knew would be magnified with your union in marriage, and He knows that you are stronger than you know to work toward the healing of your marriage.
We will close now with a prayer for those of you trying to work through a rough patch in your marriage. Know that God, as well as your family and friends, are there for you to help you and your spouse return to the love that you two once shared.
“Father God, we come before you with sadness in our hearts for marriages that are in fits of struggle right now. We don’t know what the issues might be to cause husbands and wives to be at odds with each other, but we ask that they lay these issues at the feet of Jesus, knowing He died for us so that we could be united with You. By laying these struggles at Your feet, we know the Holy Spirit will lead them on the paths of restoration and recovery to where these marriages will bloom with happiness, laughter, and peace again. We give this to you in Jesus’s name. Amen.”