Christians should not marry nonbelievers. It just won't work, says Kathy Keller, wife of well-known pastor Tim Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church.

The Kellers have dealt often with relationships between Christians and non-Christians. But rather than lecture couples on all the biblical reasons why marriage would be unwise, Mrs. Keller said it would be easier to let those already married to unbelievers do the talking.

"If only I could pair those sadder and wiser women - and men - who have found themselves in unequal marriages (either by their own foolishness or due to one person finding Christ after the marriage had already occurred) with the blithely optimistic singles who are convinced that their passion and commitment will overcome all obstacles ... Only ten minutes of conversation - one minute if the person is really succinct -would be necessary," Keller wrote recently on her blog. 

She said that you can quote Scripture like 2 Corinthians 6:14 where it says not to "be unequally yoked," but while "you can find those passages in abundance," "when someone has already allowed his or her heart to become engaged with a person outside the faith, I find that the Bible has already been devalued as the non-negotiable rule of faith and practice."

The most effective pastoral approach, she wrote, might just be to "find a man or woman who is willing to talk honestly about the difficulties of the situation, and invite them into a counseling ministry with the about-to-make-a-big-mistake unequal couple."

Keller defined being "unequally yoked" as also including "genuine, warm Christians who want to marry an in-name-only Christian, or someone very, very far behind them in Christian experience and growth."